Recently, I self-published a collection of poetry called The Butt Freak Blues.
I’ll give you some poetry samples:
Wanna fly to Bootyland.
Beaches heavily saturated with
big juicy bottoms.
A rump chump’s paradise.
Bootyland on my mind 24/7.
Will get over my fear of planes
just to get to Bootyland.
Will even learn Bootyland’s native tongue.
Will even spend all my money
on a lady from Bootyland.
Well Endowed (excerpt)
Pissed off at me because
I dumped her crazy ass, again.
“A big dick does not make you a man!”
What does my big dick
have to do with this?
Why drag my big dick
through all this unnecessary drama?
My big dick should be left alone.
Why does she have to go below the belt?
The Hip-Hop Remix (excerpt)
Watering the roses.
Kids playing in the streets.
Squirrels running up and down trees.
Neighbor’s yard-sprinklers chick-chick-chicking away.
Ice cream music playing over hip-hop beats.
Yep, the ice cream man is coming.
And the ice cream man bumpin’ bass.
Also, I have a blog for the book itself.
Miley Cyrus provides more material for this blog. Recently, she caused an uproar for tweeting pics of herself holding a dildo shaped like fist. She did this during a plane ride. Here’s the pics,
All right, I’m running this shit in the ground about the Oscars. I might take this blog off later on. Yet, here it goes. Here’s a sneak peak of Vanity Fair’s Oscar cover, photographed by the legendary Annie Leibovitz.
I really don’t give a shit about the Oscars. Yet, I could not help noticing Julia Roberts sitting in between Idris Elba and Chiwetel Ejiofor. America’s favorite white actress is sandwiched between two handsome black men. Look at her, she’s just a smiling too.
Fearing I might get sued, I’ll just leave that one alone.
A show of hands. How many dudes knew actress Angela Bassett owned a nice booty? Of course, she’s above flaunting her booty for the camera. Still, a recent viral photo on Facebook shows something I never knew about Angela. Check out the pic. Fifty-five years old and packing much booty.
Don’t get me wrong. I always found Angela Bassett beautiful and underrated as an actress. If she was a white woman, Hollywood definitely would chose her over (Insert Overrated White Actress Here).
Man, after all these years, I never knew about Angela’s booty.
Because this is mostly a music and booty blog, I was not going to post this. I’m referring to the Ellen DeGeneres Oscar selfie. The Oscars mostly deal with actors and movies, something this blog definitely isn’t about. Yet, I knew folks were going to look for it. Right now, it’s a huge hit on Twitter. Here’s the epic selfie. Enjoy.
On the night of Oscars 2014, poet/author/ex-porn store manager Christoph Paul released a free eBook version of Psychoanalytic Celebrity Poems. Most of these hilarious poems are celebrities speaking to a psychoanalyst. For those who hate pompous-assed celebrities, this book fits your needs.
Check out the opening Lady Gaga verse.
“I’m Madonna before she became a British Jew.”
Then, the Oprah poem touches on a subject many people believe as truth, including me.
“You must find ways to make white housewives buy this book.”
Last are the verses that first caught my attention. These exist in the Paula Deen poem.
“Well, color my grits;
the colored our free.
But they still don’t
know their place.
It’s a shame cause
niggers really love
my mac and cheese.”
If mean-spirited and funny are your thing, make sure you search Psychoanalytic Celebrity Poems on Amazon. I would link to it. Yet, WordPress.com would accuse me of spamming.
The following video contains clips of female fire dancers. Included is “Wrapped Mind” , a mind-blowing, dubstep song by Leon Ayers Jr. Using YouTube’s video editor, I gathered Creative Commons videos and placed them together. For those that don’t know, Creative Commons stands for artwork people are free to use.