Archive for December 2013

2013 in review

December 31, 2013

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 72,000 times in 2013. If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 3 days for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

2013 Sit The Fuck Down List – The Music Remix

December 31, 2013

This blogs says almost exactly what I had on my mind.

Scott Woods Makes Lists

Here are ten music industry folks who, for one reason or another over the past year, need to go put their heads down on their desks until they’re called on. Sit the fuck down, yo.

1) Chris Brown
In all fairness, he’s on my list every year. What’s most jaw-dropping about this idiot is that he’s on my lists every year for the same fucking reason: Chris Brown can’t keep his hands to himself. Fuck anger management classes: anger is his manager.

2) Kanye West
This dude spent most of 2013 laying the seeds for a really heavy fall yet to be determined. The problem is that he’ll have one of those soft, Michael Jackson falls: being so rich you don’t feel the fall. But make no mistake, it’s coming. He’s been popping crazy pills and chasing them down with 40 ounces of grape Insaneade all year. And no good can…

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Conservative Memes Comparing Phil Robertson’s Bigotry with Miley Cyrus’s Twerking

December 22, 2013

Recently, Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson made comments many find offensive. For those of you unfamiliar with Duck Dynasty, it’s a reality show featuring a family who gained riches from creating products for duck hunters. Based in West Monroe, Louisiana, the viewers see a family were the males sport long beards.

In a recent GQ interview, the interviewer asked Phil Robertson what does he consider sinful.

Phil answered this, “Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.”

Also, these are his views on black people before civil rights: “I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I’m with the blacks, because we’re white trash. We’re going across the field…. They’re singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, ‘I tell you what: These doggone white people’—not a word!… Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues.”

Views like this earned Phil a suspension from A&E, the cable network broadcasting Duck Dynasty.

I’m sure many readers were already aware of the story I just described. Yet, here’s something amusing I later saw on Facebook. Conservatives are now posting memes comparing Phil Robertson’s comments to Miley Cyrus’s twerking. I guess twerking is just as harmful as a guy aiming obvious bigotry towards other people. If one can’t spot the bigotry in Phil’s words, you are a goddamned idiot who probably still believes in George Dubya Bush’s weapons of mass destruction. Just like a female friend pointed out, Miley Cyrus did not go around using the bible to condemn other people. Yet, here are the memes comparing Phil Robertson’s views with Miley Cyrus’s twerking.
Phil Robertson and Miley Cyrus meme

Miley Twerking and Phil Roberston meme

Manager’s Demanding Letter Causes Uproar in the DJ Community

December 19, 2013

Recently, I ran across a Facebook post showing DJ guidelines either written by a venue owner or a manager.Manager's Demanding Lettre to a DJ

Personally, as someone who plays a variety of music, I have no real problems with it.   Yet, it definitely pissed off a whole shit load of DJs.  On one hand, I understand why it would piss DJs off.  The demands put a lot of pressure on the DJ.  Yet, anyone who spent huge amounts of time in sports bars would quickly understand where the letter writer is coming from.  I’ll break it down in a list.

1.    You always cater music towards the women:  If the women are happy with the music, they will keep coming back. When they keep coming back, the dudes will keep coming back, meaning more folks in the venue spending money.

There are exceptions to this. For one, you don’t want to keep catering to the same damned women all night.  Second, there are some songs you just don’t play, no matter who asks for it.  This leads to the next point.

2.    Some songs you avoid like the plague:   Imagine everyone having a good time.  Now, some douche asks for a song that kills the whole vibe.  Any venue owner forcing a DJ to honor every song request deserves a smack upside the fucking head.

3.    Fuck no, you don’t scratch:  Most people just want to hear upbeat music.  Many do not give a fuck about a DJ’s scratching skills.  They just want to hear the goddamned music.

4.    College bar atmosphere usually means party atmosphere:  When the letter writer means college bar atmosphere, I guess some folks assume a bar full of college kids.  Yet, the letter mentions playing songs that both a 21 year old and 35 year old would recognize, usually most 80s songs up to most current songs.

5.    The venue wants to sell drinks:  This is why the bar demands upbeat music.  Upbeat music sells more drinks.

6.    If you want to survive in the business world, you definitely have to stand out:  You’re a DJ.  So fucking what? Why must a venue hire you over other DJs?  How can your skills benefit the venue’s bottom line?  The bottom line meaning making money.

Look at the venue’s point of view.  Why would paying customers choose them over other venues?  This is why a bar demands a DJ to be different. Being a DJ known for playing a hot jam brings people to the venue.  Sometimes, I’m known for playing remakes of already known songs.  That’s why some folks keep coming back.  They know me for certain songs.

7.    Catering to mixed crowds brings in more money: I witnessed this first hand.  After having diverse music on a Monday night, one local bar started catering to the rock guys.  Monday nights sunk like the Titanic.  By catering to one group, the bar owner fucked up a good night that attracted many people.

If you’re a DJ concerned only about the “important music” and hate other varieties, I got some good advice for you. Form your own clique or whatever.  Then, find a venue that allows you and your buddies free reign to cater to other pretentious music snobs like yourself. Along with pretentiousness is probably someone who is also racist, homophobic, etc.

As I point my understanding of the demands, I do see some problems.  Will the bar have your back when someone asks for a song outside the guidelines?  Then the letter asks for recognizable songs but want you to play songs that can’t be heard elsewhere.  Yes, I answered why a DJ should do both.  Still, the actual wording can be confusing.  Another thing, as you try mixing the music, most of the crowd may vibe to one type only.  This explains why the DJ might play rap most of the night, people enjoying it the most.

Why would someone write this in the first place, you ask?  Either the bar is suffering financially and putting pressure on the DJ or bad experiences with past DJs. Some people may say they shouldn’t have hired bad DJs in the first place.   After an action is already done, everyone and their grandmother always have a fucking opinion on what action should have happened.

After being handed a demanding letter, I probably would get pissed at first.  The list comes across as if the venue doesn’t think I can do my job. Would I take the job?  Damned straight.  For one, I hate fuckers asking for music that brings an upbeat crowd down.  Second, I hate fuckers always complaining about the other music I play.  The night is for everyone, not some dipshits who think the world centers around them.  Any venue catering to assholes like that deserve having their place go out of business.   Catering to fucktards like that means a venue having no real respect towards other paying customers. So, yes, I would take the letter writer’s gig.  If the venue really does turn out to be shitty, I do have the choice of leaving.

The hidden costs of MP3s

December 16, 2013

I read this blog a lot.

Not Your Jukebox

Now that the great Format Wars of the last decade have been reduced to a few occasional skirmishes, fought with talking points tossed around by both sides, it would seem that, for better or worse, non-physical media is music’s destiny. Even with vinyl making a remarkable spike in sales over the last few years, it is unlikely that we will ever see a physical medium as the norm for housing music again.


MP3s have forever changed the audio landscape; I mean what’s not to love about them? You can have thousands of songs and the only space they take up is virtual. You can email a song to a friend and they can instantly listen to it just about anywhere on a plethora of devices, and with a little know how and a short internet search you can gain access to just about any song ever made, for free. Considering…

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Sick Fucks Mixes Nelson Mandela Into Bullshit Aimed at Rapper Kanye West

December 9, 2013

All weekend, I saw Facebook posts claiming rapper and music producer Kanye West opened his big mouth again.  Because he was accurate about ex-President George Dubya Bush not liking black people, I really shouldn’t pick on Kanye’s mouth too much.

Yet, the Facebook posts kept saying Kanye proclaimed to be the next Nelson Mandela. Yet, this wasn’t true. Some sick fucks at a satire site created a fake interview, an interview many people took as real.

Why I say sick, you ask?  In his native South Africa, Nelson Mandela served long years in prison because he rightfully believed South Africa’s racist apartheid was wrong, the reason many people mourn his recent passing.  Yet, not soon after the man dies, some idiots thought it was fun to mix his name into some bullshit.

Fucking with Kanye wouldn’t have pissed me off.  Yet, mixing Mandela’s name into it was just wrong.  Have some respect for a great man who just died, you sick fucks.

Seven Important Reasons a DJ Should Blog

December 8, 2013

Some people recommend DJs having their own website, advice I agree with.  Done right, a website proves to be very beneficial.  Yet, I shall give seven important reasons why a DJ must start a blog.

1.     Blogs expose your services to new people:  On a blog, a DJ can advertise their services.  Many free blog sites don’t allow this.  So, the DJ may want to invest money in a self-hosted sited, a site where you yourself control the content.  Free blog sites are known to play the censorship game, which can lead to a blog being deleted.

2.    The DJ keeps a loyal fan base: When folks see themselves in a DJ’s blogs, the more likely they will keep coming back to the DJ’s night.

3.    Fans know more about you:  When people see the real you, they may respect you even more.  Of course, if they see you’re a jerk and don’t appreciate them, they may refuse returning to your nights.

4.    Opportunity to expose the music you really like:  Some people realize a DJ may play certain music as a compromise.  They may play a shitty song because the crowd likes it.  Yet, some folks are dying to know the music the DJ really likes.  They want to know what the DJ plays on their car stereo or what music they upload on their smart phones. This goes back to people learning more about you, the third benefit I mentioned.

5.    Opportunity to expose your mixes:  I’m a little shaky on this one.  If you want to expose your mixes, a blog will help you.  Yet, here’s the thing; many web visitors own a short attention span. Because of that, many folks may not be willing to listen to a whole mix.

6.    Unlike some websites, blogs are easier to post:  Websites you have to learn codes just to post a paragraph or two.  Not so with blogs.

7.    Venues respect you more. (At least, the smart ones do.):  Most venues welcome any publicity.  Because I can easily post it on Facebook, I usually don’t post upcoming gigs on my blog.  Yet, I always post details of how the event went on my blog.  If it was good, that’s good publicity for the venue.

There are other benefits.  Yet, because I didn’t experience them personally, I avoided posting them.  I have heard of people receiving free things because of blogs.  Companies give free products for bloggers to review. Plus I have heard of people making money from ads placed on blogs.  Like I mentioned before, I have never experienced that.  Still, it doesn’t mean that won’t work for other DJs.

So, there you have it, seven reasons for having a DJ blog. Digital DJ Tips lists more reasons. Hopefully, this inspires other DJs.