Archive for March 2013

A Too Darned Offensive Jesus Christ Picture

March 31, 2013

As an atheist, I really don’t have anything against Christians.  Yet, I could not resist blogging the Jesus Christ meme posted on Facebook by We Fucking Love Atheism.  Because it references a song, it fits right in on this DJ blog.

Stop! Hammer-time

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Beyonce Ain’t Shit

March 29, 2013

Hadn’t witnessed so much hatred against a black woman

since Mike Tyson and Robin Givens.

 

“Beyonce ain’t shit!”

 

What the hell did Beyonce do?

What earned her so much scorn?

Was she supposed to have five kids from five different men?

Was she supposed to be another criminal black face on the evening news?

Would that have made some folks happy?

 

“Beyonce ain’t shit!”

 

White folks pouring it on also.

Guess Beyonce was supposed to marry a white Hollywood actor

instead of a rich black rapper.

Guess she was supposed to star in movies

starring white male actors as her romantic lead.

Following the footsteps of Halle Berry and Jennifer Lopez.

 

“Beyonce ain’t shit!”

 

Get a life.

Some of you jealous folks

ain’t shit either.

Nine Things I Learned From Being A DJ

March 28, 2013
Photo by Mayra Lentz

Photo by Mayra Lentz

After three years in the DJ arena, I noticed things I never realized before I became a DJ. Here’s nine of them.

1. DJs are treated like shit: Let’s just get this one out of the way. Forget the image of the superstar DJ playing in front of hundreds to thousands of people. Usually, that’s someone who produces his or her own music, music that brought more attention their way.

Also, most DJs don’t work in glamorous nightclubs either. Your typical DJ more than likely mixes music in a bar, wedding or an event. These spots are usually where people treat DJs like shit.

A DJ is there to provide a fun atmosphere. He or she is not a jukebox. How would you like it if the same people kept telling you to play this and play that all damned night? That shit gets annoying after awhile. Also, there are reasons why DJs won’t play or carry certain songs. For one, they may not have heard the requested song yet. Still, they eventually will. Second, the song may be inappropriate for the evening. For every time the whole place seems to enjoy themselves, I would really love to smack the fucker who requests a song that brings the whole energy level down. Believe it or not, your wonderful song request just might be one of those songs that shouldn’t be played.

2. Older people arrive early and leave early: This is when I usually play “the classics”. Don’t get it twisted. This does not mean the over forty crowd does not appreciate current hits. Yet, they appreciate older music too.

3. Younger people arrive later, and some will stay all night if you let them: For DJs who enjoy watching intense booty-shaking, this is the best time. Not only do the younger folks have more energy, they also don’t mind getting one hour sleep before having to work the next day. They’ll do intense booty-shaking all night if you let them.

4. Younger people love the classics: Sometimes, folks under thirty would ask for songs older than forty-something me. As long as they’re having a good time, I don’t mind it.

5. Sometimes, it’s best to cater to the older crowd: Anyone who don’t appreciate and recognize the spending power of folks over forty is a complete idiot who should keep their stupidity out of the nightlife business. Not only do older people buy more expensive drinks than the younger crowd, they also tip more. Only a moron would not notice that. Younger people buy the cheapest drinks and many don’t even tip. Yet, the younger crowd tends to be more demanding.

This isn’t always the case. Some younger folks do tip and buy expensive drinks. Also, some older folks are cheap as hell. Still, when it comes to spending money, the older crowd has the younger crowd beat.

(I say over forty. Yet, over thirty fits it just as well.)

6. White people are shitty tippers too: You usually hear the stereotype of black people not tipping. That’s because many black people don’t know you’re supposed to hand money over to people who are already receiving pay for their services. Yet, many white people do comprehend tipping. Still, after playing many of their song requests, some white people look at me as if I’m speaking a foreign language when I bring up tipping.

7. Some folks from “underground scenes” are full of shit: Let’s be real. Some of them ran to the underground scene because the mainstream rejected them. Some underground folks are as much of an asshole as the folks they rebel against. Some are even more of an asshole than the folks they rebel against.

My apologies for playing commercial music women want to shake their asses to. I know how it is. If only only folks would appreciate the important underground act only five people know about. Pat yourself on the back for being one of those five.

8. Only other DJs and their groupies bitch about a DJ’s equipment: Despite what other DJs told you, a DJ can still rock the house with just a laptop and the right software. As long as the DJ pays attention to the crowd, he or she should do fine. For vinyl DJs who don’t believe that, they can go fuck themselves and remain in the dinosaur age where they belong.

9. Everything I believed about people proved true, both good and bad: Most people are decent, if not extremely nice. If they enjoy your vibe, they will definitely come back and spend money.

Only a small handful of people are social fuck-ups. Yet, these types will ruin your whole evening…if you let them. Sometimes, it’s selfish shit. Some folks just want the DJ to lick their ass all night. To them, the DJ must lick their ass because they’re so special and so above other people. Some of these types insult the DJ when he or she don’t lick ass. All of a sudden, the DJ is now a shitty DJ.

Other types are just plain jealous. When they badly crave the attention the DJ is receiving, some envious types start criticizing the DJ’s skills and/or choice in music. All of a sudden, they know just the music the DJ should be playing. Lo and behold if the women like the DJ, that just adds more gas to an already burning fire.

Then there’s the small group of genuinely nice folks. They’re the ones who always tip or even buy the DJ a drink. Plus when folks talk shit about the DJ, these folks have the DJ’s back. It’s not even all about tips or drinks, a DJ gets happy when someone compliments their music. Genuinely nice people do it all the time.

I always thought most folks were decent, and that only a handful were truly assholes. My experiences as a DJ proved it.

These are the nine things I learned. Are there any other DJs who learned something during their gigs? You’re free to comment.

Three Facebook Pages to Satisfy Your Booty Fix

March 26, 2013

The fake booty has transformed into an epidemic, even the sistas are doing it.   Observe.  Yesterday, I saw this meme about Nicki Minaj posted on Facebook.

booty meme

Because this blog receives many visits about booty, I decided to hook my readers up.   Here are three Facebook pages  to satisfy your booty fix.

1. black women are sexy: This is a site dedicated to those who appreciate the originators of the beautiful big booty.  I’m referring to black women, of course.  Oh yea, this site was the one that posted the Nicki Minaj meme.

black girl's big booty

2. Big Girls Need Love Too, Big Booty and Cougars/MILFs Too: This site belongs to a buddy of mine, a dude I’ve known for over thirty years.  Not only will you see voluptuous womenz  and MILFs, you’ll also see big butt white girls.
big white booty in a black swimsuit

3. 18 Karat Reggae: Not only do the post images of weed and Bob Marley, they also post multiracial varieties of booty.  One time, these dudes borrowed from my personal booty stash.  I didn’t forget, muthafuckas!
multiracial booty

So, there you go.  The blog experts can not say my blogs don’t provide valuable information for my readers.

Celebrating My Birthday at Orlando’s The Hideaway Bar

March 20, 2013

Last Monday, I turned 44.  To celebrate, I invited friends to The Hideaway Bar, a spot located in Orlando, Florida.

the hideaway bar

 

Me at 44.  I still have a hairline.  Yet, because my hair is always screwed up, I prefer wearing hats.

Photo by Casey Dayhoff

Photo by Casey Dayhoff

Photo by Heather Kingsbury

Photo by Heather Kingsbury

 

Monique

woman wearing glasses

Trevor

guy with glasses in a bar

 

Frankie

franki messina

Mike

mike piazza

 

Brian and Heather

couple in a bar

 

Andrew

hang loose, satan sign, heavy metal sign

 

Shawnette, the bartender

the hideaway bar orlando

 

Casey

the hideaway bar orlando

 

Casey prepared a surprise for me on the bathroom chalkboard.

happy birthday

the hideaway bar

Photo by Brian Kingsbury

Photo by Heather Kingsbury

Photo by Heather Kingsbury

 

After most folks left around one, Casey and I headed to The Peacock Room.  My celebration was originally planned for The Peacock Room.   Every Monday, DJs Waldo Faldo and Rick Jones play classic hip hop and dance music, reason Peacock was my first choice.  Yet, these two weren’t on Peacock’s schedule.  At the last minute, they posted announcements on Facebook they were playing.  By this time, I had already scheduled for The Hideaway, something I really didn’t regret.

DJ Waldo Faldo

laptop dj

 

Rick Jones

guy shaking his ass

 

Me and Suzan

at the bar with suzan elizabeth

 

After all the boozing, I really don’t remember the roads I drove on the way home.

Oh well, I enjoyed my evening.  Folks paid for my drinks all night.  I’m thankful for the friends I have.  Plus a big shot out to The Hideaway Bar for the hospitality.

A Funny Harlem Shake Photo Meme

March 18, 2013

For those of you who have been living under a rock, you can go to Wikipedia and find out what the Harlem Shake is.

For the rest of us, I’ll show you the funny Facebook meme uploaded by The Dungeon Family, a crew who produced the early OutKast hits.

black guys in harlem chasing a white guy

By the way, I like the girlie bikini version.

Ten Songs White People Love To Hear

March 15, 2013

First of all, don’t take me too seriously about this.  Yet, I couldn’t help but notice this in my search engine section.  Right under the search for Meagan Good’s booty, someone searched for songs to play for white people in a bar.

song to play for white people

Being a DJ that plays for mixed crowds, I guess I would know what white people like.

In no real particular order, I shall offer ten songs white people love to hear.

1. Dancing Queen by ABBA:  White womenz of all generations love this song.

2. We Will Rock You by Queen: You’ll hear the whole bar stomp-stomp-slap to this.

3. Sweet Caroline by Neal Diamond:  Nobody but the white folks ask for this song. As some white people deny liking it, they will more than likely know the lyrics and sing to it anyway.

4. Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard: Usually, any 80’s hair metal band would do.  Yet, this tops the lists of said genre when it comes to getting drunk white folks to sing.

5. The Time Warp by The Original Rocky Horror Picture Show Cast:  Out of every group of white folks, someone is liable to be a huge fan of cult film The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

6. Hey Jude by The Beatles:  Out of all Beatle songs, this one definitely gets white people going.

7. Piano Man by Billy Joel: You’ll notice a theme with some of these songs.  White folks love sing-a-longs.  Well, here’s another one.

8.  Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks: Don’t let the yuppies bullshit you.  Many white folks love this county music gem.

9. Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot:  I can hear you now.  “Isn’t that a rap song?”  What are you trying to say?  Are you trying to say white people don’t like rap music?  Well, let me tell you.  More white people ask for this song more than they would any Eminem rap song.

10. Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey: This is the granddaddy of them all.  White people will demand you play this song.

Like I said earlier, don’t take this list too seriously.  Yet, it does get results.

For white folks who are offended by this list, I have this to say.  Good!  Now, you know how it feels to be the butt of a nasty racist joke.

Comments and suggestions are welcomed.