Posted tagged ‘list’

Ten Songs White People Love To Hear

March 15, 2013

First of all, don’t take me too seriously about this.  Yet, I couldn’t help but notice this in my search engine section.  Right under the search for Meagan Good’s booty, someone searched for songs to play for white people in a bar.

song to play for white people

Being a DJ that plays for mixed crowds, I guess I would know what white people like.

In no real particular order, I shall offer ten songs white people love to hear.

1. Dancing Queen by ABBA:  White womenz of all generations love this song.

2. We Will Rock You by Queen: You’ll hear the whole bar stomp-stomp-slap to this.

3. Sweet Caroline by Neal Diamond:  Nobody but the white folks ask for this song. As some white people deny liking it, they will more than likely know the lyrics and sing to it anyway.

4. Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard: Usually, any 80’s hair metal band would do.  Yet, this tops the lists of said genre when it comes to getting drunk white folks to sing.

5. The Time Warp by The Original Rocky Horror Picture Show Cast:  Out of every group of white folks, someone is liable to be a huge fan of cult film The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

6. Hey Jude by The Beatles:  Out of all Beatle songs, this one definitely gets white people going.

7. Piano Man by Billy Joel: You’ll notice a theme with some of these songs.  White folks love sing-a-longs.  Well, here’s another one.

8.  Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks: Don’t let the yuppies bullshit you.  Many white folks love this county music gem.

9. Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot:  I can hear you now.  “Isn’t that a rap song?”  What are you trying to say?  Are you trying to say white people don’t like rap music?  Well, let me tell you.  More white people ask for this song more than they would any Eminem rap song.

10. Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey: This is the granddaddy of them all.  White people will demand you play this song.

Like I said earlier, don’t take this list too seriously.  Yet, it does get results.

For white folks who are offended by this list, I have this to say.  Good!  Now, you know how it feels to be the butt of a nasty racist joke.

Comments and suggestions are welcomed.

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Top Five Things Laptop DJs Hate

August 24, 2011

Laptop DJs already have it bad.  Because they don’t use vinyl, elitists look down on them.  Now, some people choose to throw Molotov cocktails at the already burning building.  You damned arsonists!

Thinking about that inspired me to write a top five list on what annoys laptop Djs.

5. Making requests as the DJ sets up their equipment.   This may not be unique to laptop DJs.  Yet, because people expect laptop DJs  to own every song recorded, some folks request songs and genres I have no intentions playing.   It would be nice if folks at least asked what kind of music I intend playing before they make requests.  For some reason, women do this more than guys.

4.. Asking the DJ to look at your awesome website as they’re trying to mix.   I know at least one person who does this.  I like the guy.  Yet, that crap annoys me.  As I’m trying to read the crowd and play the appropriate music, I can not be bothered with web search requests.

3. Back seat DJs  Yea, I know.  The vinyl folks experience this too. Yet, the laptop DJ experiences something different.  Because of the laptop’s portability, the DJ can “spin” from the bar counter, inviting unnecessary trouble.   Some folks will sit by the DJ and attempt influencing the DJ’s play list all damned night.   One evening, I let it known I didn’t appreciate that.

2.  Asking the DJ to play songs from your phone…especially when they’re not familiar with the song.   First of all, it’s annoying.  I hate taking the time of unplugging  and replugging just for one damned song!  It interrupts the evening’s flow. Then,  if the song I never heard before turns out to be terrible, I want to punch the person who insisted on wasting my time in the first place.

1. “Aren’t you online?”  This takes me back to number 5.  The laptop  inspires request for  songs and genres the DJ have no intentions playing, the reason why some folks request such songs and genres before the DJ starts his or her gig.  If the DJ don’t have it, they’re expected to go online and find it.

If I plan on playing hip hop, I find it annoying someone insists I search online for a punk song.

If the DJ does not have your song, get over it.   The world isn’t going to end.  Also, the world does not revolve around you and that one damned song.  Asking the DJ to go online makes them hate you.  Right now, you’re acting like a spoiled brat who won’t shut up until someone gives in to your demands.  If the DJ gives you attitude, you asked for it.

At one gig, I do go online because I’m required to play every requested song.   At other gigs, I rarely go online because playing every requested song is NOT a requirement.  Sometimes, an online song won’t even play.  Other times, part of the song will play and stop.  Headaches I prefer not experiencing.