Archive for the ‘poetry’ category

Funny and Mean Poetry Book About Celebrities: Psychoanalytic Celebrity Poems

March 2, 2014

On the night of Oscars 2014, poet/author/ex-porn store manager Christoph Paul released a free eBook version of  Psychoanalytic Celebrity Poems. Most of these hilarious poems are celebrities speaking to a psychoanalyst. For those who hate pompous-assed celebrities, this book fits your needs.Psychoanalytic Celebrity Poems

Check out the opening Lady Gaga verse.

“I’m Madonna before she became a British Jew.”

Then, the Oprah poem touches on a subject many people believe as truth, including me.

“You must find ways to make white housewives buy this book.”

Last are the verses that first caught my attention. These exist in the Paula Deen poem.

“Well, color my grits;
the colored our free.
But they still don’t
know their place.

It’s a shame cause
niggers really love
my mac and cheese.”

If mean-spirited and funny are your thing, make sure you search Psychoanalytic Celebrity Poems on Amazon.  I would link to it. Yet, WordPress.com would accuse me of spamming.

Blaming Bobby Brown

April 2, 2013

“Bobby ruined Whitney.”

 

These damned homosexuals won’t let up.

Keep on insisting Bobby Brown

caused Whitney Houston’s downfall.

Repeating the same damned thing

over and over again.

 

“Bobby ruined Whitney.”

 

Shame on me for trying to argue.

Shame on me for defending Bobby.

Shame on me for asking how can one man

cause so much damage to a grown-assed woman.

These damned homosexuals’ minds already made up.

 

“Uh-uh, he ruined her, honey.”

 

How do these homosexuals know?

Where they there?

Did they witness the whole thing

in the human flesh?

 

Makes me want to stop playing

Whitney’s music during DJ gigs.

Play Whitney’s music

and they start that shit again.

 

“Bobby ruined Whitney.”

 

These damned homosexuals just won’t let up.

Beyonce Ain’t Shit

March 29, 2013

Hadn’t witnessed so much hatred against a black woman

since Mike Tyson and Robin Givens.

 

“Beyonce ain’t shit!”

 

What the hell did Beyonce do?

What earned her so much scorn?

Was she supposed to have five kids from five different men?

Was she supposed to be another criminal black face on the evening news?

Would that have made some folks happy?

 

“Beyonce ain’t shit!”

 

White folks pouring it on also.

Guess Beyonce was supposed to marry a white Hollywood actor

instead of a rich black rapper.

Guess she was supposed to star in movies

starring white male actors as her romantic lead.

Following the footsteps of Halle Berry and Jennifer Lopez.

 

“Beyonce ain’t shit!”

 

Get a life.

Some of you jealous folks

ain’t shit either.