Archive for the ‘Lists’ category

Skrillex Versus Daft Punk

September 10, 2012

Recently, I saw this photo posted on Facebook.

I really don’t know what ignoramus created this.  Yet, I traced the original poster as Sadhu, a DJ from Berlin.  Just because he posted it, doesn’t mean he agrees with it.

Looking at the photo makes me wonder if this was a joke.  Was the author really this stupid?  Did they even know Daft Punk’s history during the 90s?  I don’t have anything against Skrillex.  Yet, every time someone asks me for dubstep, why do they always ask for him?  At least, ask for Nero, the other popular dubstep act people always ask for.

Then, again, I’m reminded of another meme I recently found on the internet.

Yep, the author of the first meme may have been that fuckin’ stupid.

The ‘I’m a twat’ list for DJs

June 23, 2012

Chris Redmon, an artist friend, alerted me to this hilarious list. On their Facebook fan page, the Freestylers posted it.

Enjoy.

Every DJ must own this list!!!

Ten Albums Every Prince Fan Should Own

June 19, 2011

First of all, don’t tell Prince about this.  He doesn’t like the word “fan”, something about “fan” existing in the word “fanatic”.  In honor of my favorite musician, I decided to make a list of albums every Prince fan should own.  Of course, some fans may own every album, which is commendable.  Still, I chose to highlight the ones people definitely must have.

10. Purple Rain (1984)

This is a no brainer, even people who aren’t hardcore Prince fans own this soundtrack to the same-named movie.  Starting out with the hard-rocking “Let’s Go Crazy”, the album offers a tasty mix of pop and soul.  The album also contains one of his most covered songs, “When Doves Cry”.

And who can forget the raunchy “Darling Nikki”?  Back in 1984 at summer camp, I played this song on someone’s cassette player. After hearing the Nikki-started-to-grind verse, the jaws of my cabin mates dropped as their eyes widened.  Compared to recent rap lyrics, that verse is tame.

Like many great soundtrack albums, the music holds it own without people even thinking about the film.

9. For You (1978)

This is Prince’s first album.  At age 19, he wrote, composed and produced the whole damned thing.  He even played all the instruments.  All at the age of 19.  That alone is why For You is a must have.

On this bad boy, two songs stand out.  One is “Crazy You”,  a ballad sung in his signature falsetto voice as he strums an acoustic guitar.  Second would be “Soft and Wet”, a funky, synthesizer number co-written with Chris Moon.

8. The Black Album (1994)

Actually, it was supposed to be released in 1987.  Thinking the album evil, Prince shelved it.  Yet, a fan should still own it, mostly because of the song “Bob George”, an evil guilty pleasure.  Usually known to alter his voice to a higher pitch, Prince lowers it on this song.  In this voice he makes fun of himself.  “Prince?! Ain’t that bitch! That skinny muthafucka with the high voice?!”  Actually, this song is a blueprint for future rap lyrics involving cussin’ out and smackin’ women, reason why it’s a guilty pleasure.

The music on “Bob George” blends rock and funk to the extremes.  As Prince jams the guitar rock-style, the rest of the arrangement centers on some nasty funk.

7. Come (1994)

Before he turned into the symbol, this was the last album he used the name Prince.  Personally, I believe this is one of his most under-appreciated albums.  It takes more than one listen to get used to it.  Yet, after awhile, the songs “Space” and “Letitgo” stays with you for a long time.  The only thing groundbreaking is “Loose”, a thumping techno jam.  Most of the music is Prince’s typical mixture of pop and soul.  Still, a fan must own it.

6. 3121 (2006)

The album many of my friends said he became Prince again.  Before this album, he had already dropped the symbol and went back to calling himself Prince.  My friends were actually referring to the music, especially the song “Black Sweat”. On this song, he uses his signature falsetto with the lines, “I don’t want to take my clothes off…but I do.”  Also, he promises his love interest she’ll be screaming like a white lady at the count of three.

Some songs do sound like past songs.  “Lolita” sounds like “Raspberry Beret.”  Also, “Fury” almost sounds like “1999”. Yet, the album deserves a spot in a Prince fan’s music collection.

5. Musicology (2004)

Before 3121, this was considered his comeback album, the one that made him a household name again.  More soul than pop, it reached number five in the US, a charting Prince hadn’t seen in years.

Other gems, besides the thumpin’ title song, includes “Cinnamon Girl” and “Dear Mr. Man”.  Both are political songs. “Cinnamon Girl” attacks the anti-Muslim hate aimed at Arab-Americans.  In the vain of Bob Marley’s “Crazy Baldheads”, “Dear Mr. Man” shoves the world’s problems in the face of the ruling class.

My personal favorite is “What Do U Want Me 2 Do?”   The percussion takes one back to the Purple Rain and 1999 days. Yet, it doesn’t sound dated.

4. The Gold Experience (1995)

Recently, at one of my deejay gigs, I got a request for the song “P Control”, a song I still hear being played at parties. Some women just can’t get enough that song.   I can still hear them now, “Pussy controooool!!!”

This is the first album Prince released under his symbol name.  Fed up with Warner Bros. withholding the album, he decided to release it under the unpronounceable symbol everyone knows him for.

“The Most Beautiful Girl In The World” is the song all the fellas secretly wish they can write for their loved ones. Secretly because “real” mean don’t say sappy things like, “It’s plain to see you’re the reason God made a girl.”   Hell no, “real” men don’t talk like that.  Yet, this is what men wish to express to their loved ones, they’re the most beautiful girl in the world.

I remember “I Hate You” in an ironic way.  The song deals with being in love with a cheater, and hating the cheater for it.  Yet, because of the love ballad groove, people slow danced to it…including yours truly.  A masterpiece in the same vein of the Police’s “Every Breath You Take”, it sounds beautiful on the surface.  Yet, when you listen to the lyrics, the song ain’t what you think it is.  Lyrics about stalking an ex-lover and lyrics about a cheating woman ain’t necessarily baby-making music.  Yet, both songs serenade you anyway.

3. Sign O’ The Times (1987)

Who in the house know about the Quake?  This double-album does not contain one song a Prince fan wouldn’t like.  It’s that damned good.

After the low sales of Around The World in a Day and Parade, Sign O’ The Times brought Prince back to the forefront. This super mofo contains the rockin’ “U Got The Look” duet with the sexy Sheena Easton.  (Back in the day, I wanted a taste of Sheena’s “Sugar Walls”.)   Also, the album contains a “Hot Thing” that’s barely 21.  Plus, I must not forget the unforgettable songs “Housequake“, “The Ballad of Dorothy Parker” and “It”.  One time, I actually was doing “It” as this album played.  To top it off, I definitely should add “Adore”.  Who can forget a song that goes, “Until the end of time/I’ll be there for you”?

2. 1999 (1982)

After releasing four albums, the mainstream finally discovered Prince with this album.  Not only was the song “Little Red Corvette” being played on pop radio stations, it was also being played on rock stations.  When it came to black folks loving rock music, Prince was the guy to look up to.   Also, the album marks the beginning of mainstream media calling Prince a rock star.

In some ways, the song “1999” became prophetic.  In the actual 1999 year, like the song predicted, many folks believed the world was coming to an end.

I got one complaint with this album. Is it one of his best works?   Hell yes.   Some critics consider it better than the more popular Purple Rain.   It’s even more raunchier than Purple Rain.  On Purple Rain, the only thing you hear is about some woman masturbating with a magazine.  On 1999, you hear Prince saying he wants to fuck the taste out of some woman’s mouth.  Even “Little Red Corvette” is sexually-oriented.  The song isn’t really about a car.  It’s about intercourse with an extremely experienced female.  So what is my complaint?  Many of the songs are too damned long.  They just go on and on and on, making the listener wish they would end already.

Despite the long songs, everyone should own this album. Not just Prince fans. Everyone who loves music must own 1999.

1. Dirty Mind (1980)

This album defines Prince the way we’ve known him for years. It’s the first time we see him mixing funk and rock, mainly punk and new wave rock on this album.

Also, Dirty Mind debuts the sexually-oriented lyrics the world has known him for.  On this album, the lyrics takes one to a porn movie.  First, the title song talks about a woman making him horny.  Every time he’s around her, he gets a “Dirty Mind”.  When we get to the third song, Prince wants to “Do It All Night”.  Song number five, he goes “Uptown” and gets laid by a woman who asks is he gay.  On “Head”, he gains oral sex from a woman who’s on her way to be wed.  Then on the song “Sister“, like a scene from the Taboo porn series, he’s a teen-ager being seduced by his 32 year old sister.  Yet, again, the song could be a protest against sexual abuse.  After all the sex, Prince goes into political mode attacking the military with the song “Party Up”.

Yes, the album includes two heartache songs “When You Were Mine” and “Gotta Broken Heart Again”.  Still, the album is mostly a funky porno soundtrack.   Of all Prince albums, one must definitely own Dirty Mind.

The Top Ten Dirtiest and Nastiest Rap Songs Ever

May 15, 2011

This was inspired by a Stuff DJs Hate blog: stuffdjshate.wordpress.com

An MC spitting a few curse words about bitches and hoes wasn’t going to cut it. Therefore, I searched for rap songs that would enrage the biggest, god-fearing, Republican politician. I’m talking dirty and nasty songs that would inspire religious types to hold public burnings of hip-hop CDs. Also, stuff worthy of an Oprah rant. So, here I go.

10. “My Dick” by Mickey Avalon

Usually, credits list Mickey Avalon as the only rapper of this song. Yet, two more MCs spit versus on it, Dirt Nasty and Andre Legacy. On this jam, as the trio compliment their dicks, they insult yours.

“My dick size of a pumpkin/ Your dick look like Mackauley Culkin…”

 

9. “The Iceberg” by Ice T

After it hearing on Oprah, my Uncle Hollis complained about this song.

“I didn’t like that lyric about the flashlight,” he went.

He’s referring to this.

“Evil E was out coolin’ with a freak one night/ fucked the bitch with a flashlight…”

 

8. “Cocktails”  by Too $hort

Of course, I can’t write a nasty list and not include $hort Dog. Released in 1995, this classic still grooves strip club booties.

“She was fine as fuck, but can’t fuck with Tina/ Tina, Tina, the sperm cleana…”

 

7. “Get Low”  by Lil Jon and The Eastside Boyz featuring The Ying Yang Twins

“To the window, to the wall, (to da wall)/ To the sweat drop down my balls…”

Enough said. Don’t even get me started on skeet-skeet.

“Get Low” also appeared on a FOX list of nasty songs.

 

6.” My Neck, My Back”  by Khia

This young lady orders you to not only lick her coochie, but her ass crack too.

“My neck, my back/ lick my pussy and my crack…”

 

5. “C’mon Babe”  by 2 Live Crew

Picking the nastiest 2 Live Crew song proved difficult. Of the many nasty 2 Live Crew songs, which one is the nastiest? Yet, many years after hearing it the first time, I never forgot Brother Marquis’ lyric on this jam. On the subject of tossing salad, he’s worse than Khia.

“Then lick my ass up and down/ lick it ‘til your tongue turns doo-doo brown…”

 

4. “Givin’  Up The Nappy Dugout” by Ice Cube

Actor Warren Beatty referenced this song in his movie Bulworth, a deadly track involving Ice Cube rapping graphic obscenities about some man’s daughter.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry but I gotta be brief/ A lotta niggas like bustin’ nuts in her teeth…”

 

3.” She Want That Money” by Devin The Dude

After first hearing this, I couldn’t stop laughing.  In my humble opinion, Devin lists among the most under-appreciated rappers.

“I opened it up, I stuck my dick in,/ she caught her wind and said, ‘Huh aah’…”

And let’s not forget the chorus.

“Tried to sell me some pussy, but no, you ain’t gonna sell no pussy to me/
Tried to sell me some pussy, but no, you ain’t gonna sell no pussy to me.”

 

2. “Adults Only” by Slick Rick

It’s been said before.  After serving years in prison, you would assume Slick Rick wouldn’t rap about anal sex.  Yet, on this jam, he does.

“Cum on the floor, she said ’Pardon the puddle’/ Spread open her cheeks, pushed hard in her butt hole…”

 

1. “Put It In Your Mouth” by Akinyele

The nastiest rap song ever!!! How so? Observe.

“Numbing your tonsils, like ambesol anesthetic/ Cummin’ down your throat like chloraseptic…”

Also, check this out.

“No time for apologin…girlfriend if you/ Swallowin (gurgle)…garglin…”

By now, due to the sexist lyrical content, some women are pissed at this blog. One of my female friends would call most of these songs rape music. Yet, check the verse Crystal Johnson sings on this very song.

“I’m talkin every drip-drop, don’t you waste it/ Baby, slurp it up, it’s enough to fill your cup…”

Hands down, “Put It In Your Mouth” earns the title: Nastiest Rap Song Ever.

The Top Ten Most Overrated White Musicians

May 9, 2011

Don’t get me wrong. It isn’t as if I think these artists suck. Most on this list I find to be very talented.

Also, if anyone requests their music during one of my deejay gigs, I’ll be more than happy to play it.

Yet, I am getting sick and tired of mainstream media always telling everyone how great these people are. Why do white musicians who perform “black music” receive more press than the folks who created it? When the all white Beastie Boys’ Licensed To Ill reached number one on the album charts, people made a big deal about it being the first rap album to do so. Yet, few folks wanted to admit The Beastie Boys’ skin color may have contributed to it.

Sometimes, it don’t even have to be about white musicians performing “black music”. Some white musicians are just plain over hyped.

So here I go. If this list offends, it wasn’t intended that way.

10. Aerosmith

If it wasn’t for Run-DMC covering one of their songs, you wouldn’t be seeing lead singer Steven Tyler on American Idol. Before Run-DMC remade “Walk This Way”, Aerosmith was considered has-beens. Run-DMC’s version pushed Aerosmith back into the public spotlight. Yet, some Aerosmith fans seem to ignore that important fact.

9. Eric Clapton

I don’t get it. Why are folks labeling him one of the best blues guitarists ever? What makes him stand out among B.B. King and Muddy Waters? A great guitarist Clapton may be, but a great BLUES guitarist?

8. Britney Spears

Since day one, never were there any intentions on presenting Britney as a true artist. All she had to do was shake her titties and sing.

7. Lady Gaga

When shock artist Marlyn Manson ripped from Alice Cooper, there was at least some originality to it. When I see Lady Gaga, I see a too obvious and unoriginal rip from Madonna.

6. George Michael

This pertains to an incident in the late eighties. The American Music Awards possessed the audacity to award George Michael the Favorite Soul/ R&B Male Artist. This over Michael Jackson and Bobby Brown, two dudes who created way more soulful albums than George Michael. And it wasn’t because they were black either.

5.Kurt Cobain

After Nirvana’s “Smells Like Team Spirit” became a hit, folks labeled front-man Kurt Cobain the voice of his generation. At this time, I was a few years younger than Kurt. Even though I liked the song, I resented folks saying this white man spoke for me. Public Enemy spoke more for me than Kurt ever did. After Kurt committed suicide, he instantly became more important than he should have been. Well, at least, white people aren’t going around saying he faked his death and moved to Paris.

4. Jim Morrison

For awhile, white people who grew up in the sixties kept going on and on about the man. Some still do. One time, I bought a book of Jim Morrison’s poetry. That shit sucked. It’s a bunch of ramblings that don’t make sense. I’ll take Charles Bukowski’s poetry over Jim Morrison’s.

3. Eminem

Back in the day, black rappers faced constant criticism for talking about bitches. Eminem raps about bitches and folks crown him an important poet. What’s artistically different about a black guy rapping about slapping hoes versus a white guy rapping about killing his baby’s mama? Yet, the baby mama killer is considered the true artist.

2. The Rolling Stones

These dudes borrowed heavily from American blues music. They even named themselves after a Muddy Water’s song. Yet, forgetting that the blues already existed in the States, white Americans sucked these British guys’ dicks and proclaimed them one of the best bands in the world.

1 Elvis Presley

There was nothing original about this man. He just happened to be a white man performing music created by black artists. Just like with Emimen, many white people were more comfortable with that versus appreciating the folks who created the music. How the hell do you name a Caucasian the king of music created by black people? I’ve been saying this for nearly twenty years, and I’ll say it again. Fuck Elvis.

UPDATE: After some Internet chatting, I’ve had second thoughts about Eric Clapton.  Several folks suggested I put Justin Timberlake on the list.  Seeing that Mr. Timberlake is another overrated white artist who sings black, it makes sense.  Okay, Justin Timberlake takes Eric Clapton’s place.

As for Lady Gaga, a white female friend pointed out she borrowed her fashion from Grace Jones.  Borrowing from a black woman makes Lady Gaga stay on the list.